The Pensacola Jaycees

You might live in Pensacola if:

• You exhibit a slight twitch when introduced to anyone with the first name of Ivan or Dennis.
• Your freezer never has more than $20 worth of food in it.
• You think of your hall closet/saferoom as cozy.
• Your pool is more accurately described as “framed in” rather than “screened in.”
• You no longer worry about relatives visiting in the summer.
• You, too, haven’t heard back from the adjuster.
• You now understand that little “2% hurricane deductible” phrase.
• You�??re putting together a collage on your driveway of roof shingles from your neighborhood.
• You were once proud of your 16″ electric chain saw.
• Your street has more than three “NO WAKE” signs posted.
• You have more than 20 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.
• The freezer in your garage is full of homemade ice.
• You find yourself dropping words like “millibar” and “convection” into everyday conversation.
• Your pantry contains more than 10 cans of Spaghetti Os.
• Making coffee on your propane grill does not seem like an odd thing to do.
• You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.
• When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths and one safe place.
• You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
• You’d be delighted to pay $3 for a gallon of unleaded.
• You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
• You have the number for FEMA on your speed dialer.
• You own more than three large coolers.
• You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.
• Three months ago you couldn’t hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
• You catch a 5-pound catfish. In your driveway.
• You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner’s insurance policy.
• At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chain saw.
• You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
• There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
• You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel.
• Speaking of the Weather Channel, there’s a sign at the Escambia county line that states “Jim Cantore is not allowed past this point”
• Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
• Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
• Relocating to North Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.
• You instinctively grab a flashlight when leaving the room.
• You find it hard to sleep without the soothing sound of a neighbor’s gas generator.
• You don’t bother switching back to a cordless phone.